The Four Elements of True Love According to Buddha

Just the feeling of true love is not enough to make it last a lifetime. There is more to strengthening love other than just saying you are in love. Buddha says that there are about four elements that make love lasting and strong.



Maitri literally translates to kindness. This means that you just cannot know to love, but you must also know how to love. You might be true in your intentions to love someone and be truly loving but sometimes you may not be loving them right. This takes observation and understanding your partner on a deeper level.

How to develop?

This can be developed by really paying attention to your partner and making an honest and true effort to actually understand them. Listen to them talk and notice everything.



Karuna means compassion. It means to understand and feel the pain that your loved one is going through because only then will you be able to help them and make them get through their pain and stop hurting.

How to develop?

Communicate. Talk. Make your partner open up about what is really going on with them and have them share their pain and hurt with you. Nobody can soothe and help your partner like you can. There is no way to love them without trying to help them hurt less.



The meaning of Mudita is happiness. Something that you must always remember that love should always be a source of happiness, love and light, so, therefore if your love is not making you the happiest you can possibly be, it is not the truest form of love. Happiness is what makes the hearts get closer and fulfils your life. Love should feel like nothing you have felt ever before.

How to develop?

This is comparatively easy and less abstract. You have to do things that both of you have fun doing individually, together. Contrary to popular belief, happiness is about little things.



This is the last element of love. Upeksha means freedom. Even in a relationship, you must always remember that even in a relationship, one has to have individual freedom. One has to feel accepted as their true, unapologetic selves. One should have the freedom to just be.

How to develop?

Find comfort in each other’s company without constantly trying to keep in interested and on their toes. Find freedom to just be.

6 Things You Should Know about True Love

6 Things You Should Know about True Love

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. ~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld

True Love

We go around looking for true love, hoping and wishing to find that ONE person who will make our imperfect life perfect. We fool ourselves into thinking that true love can only come from outside of us but rarely from within ourselves.

True love can only be found by love. It goes where love is. And the more love you hold in your heart and the more love you have for yourself, the more love you will be able to attract upon yourself.

Love cannot and will not go to those who have an empty heart. True love comes from within. It starts with you. It comes to you abundantly when there is an abundance of it in your heart. It flows through you and it ends with you.

“Seek not outside yourself, for all your pain comes simply from a futile search for what you want, insisting where it must be found.” ~ from A Course in Miracles

This being said, here are 6 things you should know about true love:

1. Self-love is the best way to attract true love.

Love yourself with all your heart, for who you are and for who you are not. Be good to yourself and the whole world will be good to you also. If you don’t have love for yourself, you can’t expect to get it from someone else. And even if you get it, it will only be for a little while. It won’t last too long. It doesn’t work that way. Love comes in abundance to those who have it in abundance in their hearts.

“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.” ~  Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

2. True love is not about finding your completeness in another.

You are already whole and complete and the more you learn to love and accept yourself the more you will know this to be true. You really don’t need another person to complete you, you only need someone with whom you can share your completeness. True love is not about finding your completeness in another person but rather about sharing your completeness with them fully in order to grow and expand more and more each day.

3. The love of your life is YOU.

Why look outside yourself for something that is already within you? True love starts with you. The love of your life is nobody else but you. Within you lies all the love that you need and desire. In you, not outside of you. The love you will receive from outside of yourself will be nothing but a projection of the love that is present within you.

“Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.” ~ Wally Amos

4. True love doesn’t need to be fought over.

You often hear people say, “if you really love somebody, you have to fight for that person.” I really don’t think so. If you need to “fight” for someone’s love it means it ain’t worth having. It ain’t the real thing. It ain’t love. “To fight” and “to love” are two opposite things and you can only have one without the other. You can’t have them both.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

5. True love is effortless.

True love feels easy. It flows and everything comes naturally. Where there is true love, there is no need for control, no need for fixing the other person, no need for criticism, judgment, jealousy, blame or any other toxic behaviors. Love is love and that’s all there is to it.

“True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ~ Jason Jordan

6. True love is free from bondage.

Love needs to do what love knows best – to love and be loved. Love imposes no demands. Love has no interest in holding on to something or someone. Where there is love there is no clinging and no bondage, and where there is bondage there is no love. These two cannot coexist. 

“If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh


And this is what true love is really all about… Many have heard of it but only a few have really experienced it. Have you? You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below 🙂

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13 Reasons Why Old Souls Struggle to Find Love

Although no one truly has it easy when it comes to finding true love; yet old souls have a particularly hard time of it because they look for quite a few characteristics all of which cannot be found in a single person.

Here are 13 reasons behind their struggle of finding true love.

#1. They look for genuine love in a world which is full of pretense and masks. They want a partner with whom they can be their complete honest self and vice versa.

#2. They seek more from their partner than just love. They want to learn from them and for that, the partner will have to be aware and knowledgeable themselves which is not as easy as it sounds.

#3. Even though many people who need fixing find themselves attracted to old souls, they do not want to have any part in it. Even though they might be capable of fixing another human they would
not do it because they think it is not right.

#4. They are very hard to understand because of their complex personalities. And not everyone is capable of or willing to delve into their many layers.

#5. They are not okay with the passive kind of love. For them, the only love that matters is which is all-consuming.

#6. For them, their partner should be open to having their heart broken, because only then can they be open to receive the kind of all-consuming love that old soul believe in.

#7. Old souls don’t just want a commitment from their partner. They also want to see it in their actions every day.

 #8. The kind of love that old souls believe in is not the one which is complete only when two people are together. It is when they are both complete in themselves and come together to enhance
each other’s life.

#9. Old souls don’t need just any kind of love. They need spiritual oneness and love, the kind which happens when twin souls unite.

#10. Old souls do not really enjoy or look forward to dating. And the reason is that they do not come across other old souls during dating. The cause and the effect seem to spur each other on
in this cycle.

#11. Old souls feel everything much more intensely than most other people. If they have suffered in love before it would be much harder for them to move on now.

#12. For old souls, sex is one of the parts of a relationship and not the entire focus of why they decide to be with someone.

#13. Old souls happen to be free spirits and only another free spirit can give them the kind of love they look for. Love which will allow them to grow and not restrict them.

tenor find love