Philosophy begins where physics ends, and physics begins where philosophy ends

Physicist Sean Carroll has some words of wisdom for physicists who might have less than complimentary things to say about philosophy. The most recent altercation between a physicist and philosophy came from Neil deGrasse Tyson who casuallydisparaged philosophy in a Q&A session, saying that it can be a time sink and it doesn’t actually provide any concrete answers to scientific questions. Now I am willing to give Tyson the benefit of doubt since his comment was probably a throwaway remark; plus it’s always easy for scientists to take potshots at philosophers in a friendly sort of way, much like the Yale football team would take potshots at its Harvard counterpart.

But Tyson’s response was only the latest in a series of run ins that the two disciplines have had over the past few years. For instance in 2012 philosopher David Albertcastigated physicist Lawrence Krauss for purportedly claiming in his most recent book that physics had settled or at least given plausible answers to the fundamental question of existence. In reply Krauss called Albert “moronic” which didn’t help much to bridge the divide between the two fields. Stephen Hawking also had some harsh words for philosophers, saying that he thought “philosophy is dead”, and going further back, Richard Feynman was famously disdainful of philosophy which he called “dopey”.

In his post Carroll essentially deconstructs the three major criticisms of philosophy seen among physicists: there’s the argument that philosophers don’t really gather data or do experiments, there’s the argument that practicing physicists don’t really use any philosophy in their work, and there’s the refrain that philosophers concern themselves too much with unobservables. Carroll calls the first of these arguments dopey (providing a fitting rejoinder to Feynman), the second frustratingly annoying and the third deeply depressing.

I tend to agree with his take, and I have always had trouble understanding why otherwise smart physicists like Tyson or Hawking seem to neglect both the rich history of interaction between physics and philosophy as well as the fact that they are unconsciously doing philosophy even when they are doing science. For instance, what exactly was the philosophy-hating Feynman talking about when he gave the eloquent Messenger Lectures that became “The Character of Physical Law“? Feynman was talking about the virtues of science, about the methodology of science, about the imperfect march of science toward the truth; in other words he was talking about what most of us would call “the philosophy of science”. There’s also more than a few examples of what could fairly be called philosophical musings even in the technical “Feynman Lectures on Physics”. Even Tyson, when he was talking about the multiverse and quantum entanglement in “Cosmos” was talking philosophically.

I think at least part of the problem here comes from semantics. Most physicists don’t explicitly try to falsify their hypotheses or apply positive heuristics or keep on looking for paradigms shifts in their daily work, but they are doing this unconsciously all the time. In many ways philosophy is simply a kind of meta, higher level look at the way science is done. Now sometimes philosophers of science are guilty of thinking that science in fact fits the simple definitions engendered by this meta level look, but that does not mean these frameworks are completely inapplicable to science, even if they may be messier than what they appear on paper. It’s a bit like saying that Newton’s laws are irrelevant to entities like black holes and chaotic systems because they lose their simple formulations in these domains.

My take on philosophy and physics is very simple: Philosophy begins where physics ends, and physics begins where philosophy ends. And I believe this applies to all of science.

I think there are plenty of episodes in the history of science that support this view. When science was still in a primitive state, almost all musings about it came first from Greek philosophers and later from Asian, Arab and European thinkers who were called “natural philosophers” for a reason. Anyone who contemplated the nature of earthly forces, wondered what the stars were made up of, thought about whether living things change or are always constant or pondered if there is life after death was doing philosophy. But he or she was also squarely thinking about science since we know for a fact that science has been able to answer these philosophical questions in the ensuing five hundred years. In this case philosophy stepped in where the era’s best science ended, and then science again stepped in when it had the capacity to answer these philosophical questions.

As another example, consider the deep philosophical questions about quantum mechanics pondered by the founders of quantum mechanics, profound thinkers like Bohr, Einstein and Heisenberg. These men were brilliant scientists but they were also bona fide philosophers; Heisenberg even wrote a readable book called “Physics and Philosophy“. But the reason why they were philosophers almost by default is because they understood that quantum mechanics was forcing a rethinking about the nature of reality itself that challenged our notions not just about concrete entities like electrons and photons but also about more ethereal ones like consciousness, objectivity and perception. Bohr and Heisenberg realized that they simply could not talk about these far flung implications of physics without speaking philosophically. In fact some of the most philosophical issues that they debated, such as quantum entanglement, were later validated through hard scientific experiments; thus, if nothing else, their philosophical arguments helped keep these important issues alive. Even among the postwar breed of physicists (many of whom were of the philosophy-averse, “shut up and calculate” type) there were prominent philosophers like John Wheeler and David Bohm, and they again realized the value of philosophy not as a tool for calculation or measurement but simply as a guide to thinking about hazy issues at the frontiers of science. In some sense it’s a good sign then when you start talking philosophically about a scientific issue; it means you are really at the cutting edge.

The fact of the matter – and a paradox of sorts – is that science grows fastest at its fringes, but it’s also at the fringes that it is most uncertain and unable to reach concrete conclusions. That is where philosophy steps in. You can think of philosophy as a kind of stand-in that’s exploring the farthest reaches of scientific thinking while science is maturing and retooling itself to understand the nature of reality. Tyson, Hawking, Krauss, and in fact all of us, are philosophers in that respect, and we should all feel the wiser for it.

3 Things You Can Do If You Are Unhappy At Work.

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

I recently posted a question on our Facebook Community Page asking people whether their current job brings meaning and fulfillment into their lives and I have to say that the answers weren’t too positive.

I am sure that there are a lot of people in this world that don’t love what they do, people who don’t love their jobs and that is exactly why I decided to write this post. We live our lives based on the choices and decisions we make on a daily basis. Life is what we make it and if we really want to be happy, we need to become aware of this truth and we need to realize that: “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” Buddha

If you are stuck in a job that you hate, you have the power to do something about it, you have the power to allow/ bring happiness back into your life. Being stuck in a job we hate it’s not something we want for ourselves, for this will drain us of energy, making us and the many people  we love very unhappy. If you are stuck in a job you hate, here is what you can do about it:

1. If you don’t like your job, change it

Change your job, change your life. Like everything in life, if you don’t like your job you can always change it. You can always remove yourself from the situations that are not meaningful nor fulfilling to you. It can be scary I know, but keep in mind that short term pain will bring long term gain and if you are not happy with your job right now you will have to change it because if you don’t, you will not be able to be happy with your whole life, and you will become resentful towards yourself and those around you, living a life full of regrets, pain and anger.

Remove yourself from your job if it’s not meaningful and fulfilling, remove yourself from your job if you are unhappy with it and trust that there is something out there that you can do better than anyone else, and know that without your work – your meaningful contribution, the world will not be complete. Have some faith in yourself and the very wisdom that created us all, for I am sure nobody was sent here on this planet to be average and stuck in a job they hate.

“Discipline yourself to do the things you need to do the things you need to do when you need to them, and the day will come when you will be able to do the things you want to do them!” Zig Ziglar

2. If you can’t change your job, change your attitude

Attitude is everything! It’s not always easy to just leave a job that we don’t like because we all have these earthy responsibilities – mortgage, college fees to pay, car payments to make, etc., and of course, let’s not forget about the basic needs that need to be met. Until we manage to find a job that we love, a job that is meaningful to us, it will be beneficial if we could change our attitude towards our current job and towards our present life. You have no idea how much a positive attitude can help, and how happier we will become the moment we decide to look at the bright side of things, and trust me, there is always a bright side.

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” Francesca Reigler

3. Keep your dreams alive

It s so important to keep our dreams alive, knowing that: “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney

No matter where you are, no matter how horrible your job may be and no matter how much you hate it, if you manage to keep an eye on the things you want, if you manage to keep an eye on your big, bold and beautiful dreams you will be happy. Every experience has something to teach us and instead of being resentful we can chose to be grateful for the lessons they are helping us master. If you don’t like your job, change it and if you can’t change it, you can always change your attitude, and that will make all the difference. Let’s not complicate our lives and let’s not be to harsh on ourselves because if we don’t practice love, gentleness and forgiveness towards ourselves, chances are that nobody will. Always look to make the best of everything that happens to you, of what you have and where you are and allow yourself to learn from every experience and every interaction, allow life to make you better not bitter.

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” Buddha

30 Things To Do Before You Die.

Most bucket lists include things like, “Go on an adventure in a far-off land,” “Learn a new language, or “Buy a dream car.” Although all these experiences can make our lives more exciting, the reason we crave these activities goes a little deeper.

What drives each of these desires is one common connector, an innate yearning to belong and to feel love. When we do what we love, we become an expression of love and our happiness is infectious.

As I check off my own adventure list — skydiving, going swimming with wild dolphins, climbing Mayan Ruins in Belize — I find that with each activity I complete, I feel a sense of accomplishment, purpose and self-worth.

Which led me to think about our human desire to make a difference and live life more fully. All of us want the same thing: to be happy and live a wonderful life. But how we meet this need often differs from person to person.

In the spirit of loving life to the fullest, I’ve revised my list of things to do before I die. These seemingly simple acts have transformed my life. What it comes down to is not how long your life is, but how wide you live it and these 30 ideas can help.

30 things to do before you die:

1. Stop worrying about debt.

2. Forgive your ex-lovers.

3. Stop trying to control your outcome.

4. Look in the mirror and love yourself unconditionally.

5. Leave the job you hate.

6. Find your purpose and live it full heartedly.

7. Adopt a furry friend.

8. Don’t feel guilty for holiday weight gain.

9. Trust that everything is in right order.

10. Travel to the place you keep thinking about.

11. Try something that scares you daily.

12. Be open to change.

13. Let go of your past.

14. Stop trying to change people.

15. Stop looking for answer outside of yourself.

16. Stop thinking you did something wrong.

17. Be your weird, crazy, beautiful self.

18. Follow your heart.

19. Risk everything for love.

20. Reject rejection.

21. See the world as a beautiful, safe, and loving place.

22. See everyone as equals.

23. Give up all attachments to stuff.

24. Recognize the journey is the reward.

25. Stay hopeful and optimistic in difficult situations.

26. Welcome all life lessons.

27. See the opportunities in every challenge rather than give up.

28. Live your values.

29. Inspire others by your own bigness.

30. Play with the world.

How to Listen to Your Heart, Even If Your Mind Disagrees.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~Steve Jobs

We’ve all been there. Stuck in the middle of our decision making mode. Our heart tells us one thing, while our mind tries to keep us safe. Two totally different directions. One feels right, while the other is the most logical option.

What have you been following in the past? Do your decisions sound right or feel right? Take a look at where you are right now. Your life might be filled with logical and safe decisions. Which is great, but it’s leaving a lot of unused potential on the table.


You would love to be free flowing, in love with your decisions and place you’re at in your life. For some reason you’re not there yet. You’re close, but always feel on the fringe.

You’ve tasted the times in your life when you’ve been fully immersed in your decisions. Engaging with the uncomfortableness of not having a plan, but at least it felt right. If only you could be here more often.

You Haven’t Given Yourself Time to Develop Heart-Centered Confidence

Living in tune with your heart can be a totally new concept. Today we’re so wrapped up in making decisions based on endless pro and con lists, that we never allow any space for new opportunities or potentials. The notion of living in a “cause and effect” mechanistic world pervades our every thought.

Even though we’re notoriously bad at predicting the future, we pretend as if we have the insight of Merlin’s crystal ball. Not bad, but we can only predict so far. I’m guessing most of your decisions come in the form of receiving an innate feeling you know you should see out, but that’s usually overridden because it doesn’t seem possible.

As humans we love falling back on routine. Our same thoughts and habits pervade our everyday existence. We can either let these thoughts and beliefs, based on our past, direct our lives or we can inject new life into them.

The decision is up to you.

The moment your eyes open in the morning you’re faced with decisions. This route or that route to work. Take the new job, or move across the country. Most decisions aren’t life changing, but still add up to our overall life experience. By adding more space and deeper feeling into your decision making process you bring more possibility into your life. It’s time to start learning how to navigate these new waters.

All you need to do is balance two aspects of your being, the heart and mind.

Logic and Analytic Thought Dominate Our Culture

Logic and analytic thought saturate our world, there’s no way around it. Since the start of the scientific revolution we’ve been on a binge of rationality. A well thought out piece of writing is truly a beautiful thing, but when rational thinking dominates the spectrum of your life, you’re leaving spontaneity and the potential for unseen growth on the table.

Rationality isn’t inherently bad, but since we’re imbalanced we end up playing life with half of the chips. We can see the dominance of rationality, fear and control throughout the world. From global issues such as global warming, to the governments of repression. Worldwide issues can give us a glimpse into where our inner worlds have gone wrong.

In this case, an imbalance of logic over the subtleties of an intuition based language. Instead of following our heart and operating with trust at the forefront we place a higher degree of value on conforming and what makes the most sense. The biggest issue here is our individual nature is lost in fear of rebellion from the whole. We’ve created a cultural footprint that’s almost impossible to step out of.

Rebellion is met with resistance, and a lot of times that resistance wins.

We can only forecast our lives based upon the information we have at the present. By strictly living in the realm of rationality we cut off contact to the deeper source of life and the random events that change us and the course of history. The freewheeling nature of a heart-centered decision reaches farther than the contents of our mind can follow.

It’s time to change course and start navigating the deeper waters.

Bring the Power Home and Awaken the Heart

In utilizing your heart you open an entirely new stream of possibility into your life. By making decisions with your heart wide open you develop the trust muscle. In doing this a new source of self-love and trust emerges where there was only emptiness before.

Big changes and shifts in your life seem a little less scary as you begin to become familiar with the presence of uncertainty in your life. By living in tune with the part of yourself that always has your greatest interests in mind you’ll bring more of what you’re looking for into your life. This isn’t woo woo law of attraction imaginings, but instead, a way of viewing and feeling through the world instead of judging and analyzing yourself into a box.

When you first begin to make decisions from the deeper part of yourself you’ll feel massive resistance. The feeling of uncertainty is simply the mind trying to grapple with your decision. The amount of evidence currently in your palm doesn’t compute with the path you’re about to take. Your decision might go against the grain of your peers and family, but if the decision feels right then it’s what you have to do.

Obviously, this is easier said than done. The process of building your inner trust muscle takes time and can only blossom through action. Just as an iron sword is forged in the heat of a fire. Your life’s path can only unfold through coming into contact with the realities of life. In bringing your heart to life you awaken a fire within that has more force than all of the willpower you could ever muster.

How do I begin to unravel the hidden yearnings of my heart?

Start to Lay the New Decision Making Foundation

A house won’t last very long without a proper foundation, especially if you’re building a cabin to withstand the elements. A gust from a big bad wolf will knock it down in an instant. If you want your new decision making power to last longer than the first gale force wind thrown at you then it’s time to get to work.

The following steps will start to build a momentum of their own if you engage with them daily. For some that means building routines, while for others that means setting aside some time or space, or even setting a reminder on your phone to step back into your new decision making mechanism.

1. A proper foundation takes time

Trying to make any lasting change takes time. Especially, if it’s worthwhile. We all wish for habit changes to be as simple as turning on a light switch, but sadly this is never the case. If it was we wouldn’t value it as much.

Think about it, what holds more value, a handcrafted good, every stitch made with love, or a mass produced burlap sack? I’ll leave that judgement up to you.

If you were to start weight lifting or any kind of training, it would be impossible to start lifting heavy or training intensely right away. You need time for lasting growth.

Set aside some time every day and commit to it. You can’t build momentum by rolling a ball once. Every day push it a little farther. The first few times you’re priming your heart and it will feel awkward, so be ready for this.

Start the process by continuously asking yourself the following questions:

Where do I feel this decision?

Am I doing this because I feel it’s what I “should” do?

Is this in tune with the best version of myself?

How do I feel moving forward?

By consciously playing in the realm of the heart you’ll start to be able to see patterns and actually see if you’re living in tune with your highest self. By asking these questions you start to allow the mind and heart to play together nicely. You enable the mind to take a back seat through asking questions laced with deeper purpose and feeling.

 2. Think of it as learning a new language

If you’ve ever tried to learn a foreign language you know firsthand how confusing the process can be. Or maybe you’ve even experienced being dropped into a country where you don’t speak the language. Definitely, a sink or swim moment!

Think of this process along the same vein. If you really want to become fluent you have to immerse yourself as frequently as possible. You must cultivate drive, persistence, and inner-trust, soon it will become easier to flow through life and your decision making process.

Instead of having a decision come in the form of a weighing of good and bad, it will show up with a feeling. You need the courage to let this deep feeling impulse direct you. Make sure to watch out for the emotional swings we all feel. You have to overcome these and realize these won’t lead you where you want to go.

You’ve gotta’ go deep, my friend. You can’t assume your hunger pains or fatigue are telling you to quit your job and grab a burger. The deeper current is where you want to swim.

When you have a deep feeling you’ll know it, it feels like love, lightness, intense fear, deep unknowing, or nervousness you’ve never felt before. For everyone it shows up differently, I can’t give you the details of your inner experience.

That’s where the trust muscle comes in. Feel it and run with it.

3.  Start small and develop a toolkit of feeling

As you continue to ask yourself questions on a daily basis certain patterns might start to show up. Try to take notice of these. Maybe when you immerse yourself in writing, time dissolves and you’re left feeling refreshed after the experience. This wont happen every time, but if it happens more often than not, then it’s where you need to be.

Life is a grand experiment anyways, so you might as well conduct your life in the same manner. In doing a series of mini-experiments you’ll learn to distinguish your fleeting impulses from your heart-centered callings. In this case action is key.

You can either act based upon these or let them float by. The choice is always in your hand, when you let your mind override these feelings. Discounting them as silly, childish, or impossible, you’re really not valuing your own innate potential and value as a human being.

Before you start to rationalize why you shouldn’t take action, do yourself a favor and take a baby step. Try recognizing your deeper feeling current and act from it. See what happens. As you take action, confidence in your ability to trust the greater workings of the universe will begin to arise.

You can never trace your steps going forward, only after you’ve taken action will patterns begin to emerge.

4. Reflect on the direction and ask questions

We’ve all had the feeling of falling off, doing things not in alignment with who we truly are. This can happen even when we’re attempting to follow our hearts if we never check in and see how far we’ve come. Our mind is a tricky beast and has the ability to allow us to diverge from where we truly want to be. All while thinking we’re still on track.

You must make time to reflect, on the process, on your life, and on your new path of learning. By following the process of engaging with deep questions, seeing when deep feelings arise, taking aligned action and taking notes you’ll be well on your way to developing the ability to listen to your heart.

The strength of this way of feeling through life will allow you to override your mind. You’ll be able to lean on yourself and trust your decisions, even if your mind says they’re irrational. You’ve learned to trust and navigate the deeper current.

Reflect on your path as often as possible. Your decisions may look like a smattering of stars dotting the sky, but after a while you’ll be able to build constellations out of your own life.

5 Ways to Start Pleasing Yourself Before Pleasing Others.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. ~Mark Twain

Being a people pleaser has been a chronic issue for me for years, but I think I’ve finally nailed how to stop this self-effacing behavior. When I look back I could attribute it to many things. Maybe my tendency to please others stems from being the 3rd child, and having a brother who was ready to pounce on me at any moment. Or maybe it’s connected to the approval and love I endlessly sought from my neglecting parents. My selflessness may also be rooted in my deep fear of rejection and strong desire to be accepted.


This kind of “skill”, putting others needs before your own, can develop in a variety of contexts and life circumstances, and without your awareness. However, there is usually one common denominator that will help you get to the bottom of this issue without too much digging in your past.

Your need to please others is essentially a defense against the fear of abandonment.

If you are just nice enough, accommodating enough, easy enough, quiet enough, supportive enough, agreeable enough, and available enough, then the people in your life won’t leave.

Your ability to please others guarantees you a spot. Staying in their good graces, being on their good side, and acting obediently is an assurance that they won’t find a reason to discard you.

I know this sounds sad and pathetic, but it’s all in the name of love. You want and deserve to be loved, but not at the expense of yourself. This kind of love embodies an unconscious contract, and involves an exchange that never ends up being fair or even.

Being a people pleaser puts you at risk for becoming resentful, losing your sense of self, and for not being able to share your thoughts and feelings openly. You also can become a doormat by letting people walk all over you leading to a loss of self-respect and self-value. In your love relationships you will become exhausted and depleted, and you will wonder why it feels so empty.

I know it’s not pretty; I’ve been there. The good news is that there are some clear steps you can take to change.

Here are 5 ways to start pleasing yourself instead of others.

1. Uncover your fears

Before anything else you need to figure out what you are afraid of. Is it disappointing others? Losing love? Not being liked? Once you know what you are defending against you will be able to work through these issues, which most likely stem from your past.

2. Learn to say no

The word no has a negative connotation most of the time, but it’s actually a way to set a boundary. Even a toddler uses the word no to differentiate his sense of self. It’s hard to say no, and sometimes we can’t, but drawing the line in the sand when we need to is a healthy practice, and it lets other people know our limits.

3. Speak Up

People pleasers tend to have a hard time expressing themselves openly and honestly. It’s scary to share your feelings when you think they will cause conflict or drive the other person away. Rocking the boat, and upsetting the status quo is a natural and healthy part of growing in your relationships. You will need to work on speaking up for yourself and taking a stand if necessary. It will feel harsh at first, but you’ll get used to it soon enough.

4. Come from a place of desire (not obligation)

When you are trying to learn how to set boundaries and say no you will be forced to really ask yourself what you want and need. This may be something you have never considered before, so it will seem selfish and weird at first. Make choices as opposed to fulfilling obligations. There are always things you have to do, but you are always choosing.

5. Know who your dealing with

If you’ve been a pleaser for a while then the people in your life will be used to it. Some will automatically respect your new way of relating, but others will resist it. If there are people who simply cannot accept your limits and boundaries, then you might want to rethink these relationships. Some relationships work for a reason, but the reason isn’t always healthy.

Source: purpose fairy

The Secret to Finding Your Life’s Purpose.

The purpose of our lives is to be happy. ~Dalai Lama

You’re drifting, floating along through life with no sense of direction. Like Trent Reznor said, every day seems the same. You wake up, go to work, come home, go to sleep, and do it all over again tomorrow. And the whole time, you don’t feel like there is a point to any of it. It is so frustrating. Maybe you are not happy with the work. Or it could be the compensation isn’t enough for the lifestyle you want.

Whatever the reason, your life seems to lack purpose, and you desperately want to know how to find it.

You’ve read blogs, listened to podcasts, and watched videos. Maybe you bought tons of books or even attended expensive conferences to figure it out. But none of it has helped you.

So, how to we find our life’s purpose? How do we get to the point where we are doing work we find meaningful, and that puts our hearts and minds at ease?

It’s not as complicated as you think.

It is not that we have so little time but that we lose so much. … The life we receive is not short but we make it so; we are not ill provided but use what we have wastefully. ~Seneca

Is Passion, Purpose?

I hear a lot of people talking about finding their passion. Again, there are plenty of blogs, websites, books, and seminars out there trying to get people to pursue their passions. But is passion the same as purpose?


I love American football. I can’t get enough of it. However, football is a hobby. It isn’t my purpose in life to sit around watching football all day and then talk about it with friends. Sure, I could maybe come up with a way to create a business around football, but I highly doubt I would ever feel like that was what I was truly called to do.

When we are searching for our life’s purpose, we must be careful not to get caught up in excitement or enjoyment of something. That’s not to say you can’t enjoy your work.

I believe you definitely can.

The Secret to Finding Your Life’s Purpose

I was speaking to a friend who was trying to create an online business. He had decades of experience creating and running brick and mortar businesses, but was totally lost when it came to doing something online. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do but he knew that it needed to be something in the leadership space. I asked him why that particular market.

What he told me will stick with me for the rest of my life, and is the ultimate secret to finding your life’s purpose. I wish I’d thought of it sooner.

He said to discover whatever makes your heartbeat fast and go for it. In other words, when you find yourself talking about a topic you’re interested in, and your speech picks up, your heart begins to beat rapidly, and you find a fire inside your mind as if you want to share your thoughts with the entire world, that is when you know you have found something that can be your life’s purpose.

For me, the idea of self-publishing books is one of those things. I speak to other authors or would-be authors all the time about the benefits of self-publishing. I find that when I start talking about it, my heart beats fast, my words come out in an avalanche, and time goes by very quickly.

Why? Because I feel like showing other writers how they can achieve something that is their dream, is a great work. It is work that fills me with purpose.

True happiness… is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. ~Helen Keller

What’s The Difference?

I spoke about football, something I’m passionate about, and writing books/self-publishing. I get excited about both of those things. So, how do I know which one should be my purpose in life?

It’s simple. If you find work that you love, get excited about, and helps someone else in the process, that is when you know you’ve found something. And the helping part can be almost anything! Maybe you can help relieve stress, show people new things in life, or give them an edge in something that is important to them.

You could run a surf school in Costa Rica, be a golf instructor, operate an adventure tour business in Romania, or help poor people get investment funding to start their own businesses. The opportunities are literally limitless.

Your Turn. Think about the things you’re passionate about. Which one of them teaches, relieves, or helps someone else in some way? Write down a small list. Maybe put it in the comments below. Odds are, one of those is something you could pursue. And the fulfillment you get out of it will show you a life you always dreamed of.


How to Achieve and Sustain Balance in Your Everyday Life.

I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles. ~Zig Ziglar


It seems there are times when we all feel that life would be so much easier if we had more time in the day or if we could only cater to this or that a little bit more. We wear so many different titles in our lives, parent, son/daughter, spouse, brother/sister, friend, significant other, co-worker, etc.

How do we fill each of those roles successfully when we are only one person? Where is that line, how do we find it and once we do, how do we stay balanced? Well, since cloning humans is still far off, we have to look at why it is so hard to achieve and sustain balance in our everyday lives.

Many of us use the wrong definition of Balance, which is probably why we have such difficulties finding or achieving it. In today’s society, we look at and define ‘balance’ as a verb; meaning to arrange, adjust, or proportion the parts of symmetrically. Now how could anyone ever hope to BE a verb? By this definition Balance is an action that we try to DO all day every day – no wonder we become so exhausted when trying to ‘balance’ our lives. What most of us fail to realize is that; when it comes to our daily lives, Balance is necessary but it is not about symmetrical distribution or weight. We shouldn’t feel as though we are walking a tightrope or constantly being pulled in different directions. The balance that we all seek to acquire is actually a noun defined by: mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.

Simply said Balance is acquired internally and reflected outward…it is never the other way around. The answer is simple – the balance we all seek is within ourselves. It is important to allow ourselves some time in our busy schedules to unwind and clear our minds, even if it is only five or ten minutes a day, because this is where we begin to understand what we need from ourselves to reach mental steadiness or emotional stability.

Solitude is not the absence of company but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life. ~Paulo Coelho

The daily stress that we often carry comes from the lack of balance or the feeling of being stretched too thin. We often feel overwhelmed, unable to be everything to everyone or unable to be many places at the same time. However if you stop to think about it – is that really what is required of us? Balance is not about being everything to everyone all at once. Balance is about understanding ourselves, what we do and do not want; who we are and are not; what we are and are not capable of and staying true to ourselves.

We need to find the “middle way” in our own lives. It is the art of finding balance. Reflecting upon our lives, we soon discover what serves us well – nurturing calmness, ease, and simplicity. We also discover what it is that leads to entanglement, confusion, distress, and anxiety. Wisdom is being able to discern the difference, then knowing what we need to nurture and what we need to learn to let go. ~Christina Feldman

Instead of allowing ourselves to be defined by all of the titles we wear daily, we should instead define those titles by simply being ourselves. What this means is; once you have a clear understanding of who you are and what you want, your priorities will fall into place and you will be able to naturally and effortlessly achieve the state of habitual calm behavior and judgement. This then provides the desired sense of peace and balance that we all seek.

Source: Purpose Fairy



How to Take Authority over Your Thoughts and Feelings.

Change your thoughts and you change your world. ~Norman Vincent Peale


Some people suggest that our thoughts and feelings are not actually true – that we made them up based on the conditioning we received and the interpretations we made, or even the belief that all of physical reality is perception and not actually the “truth.” What is real is our “Natural Self” ─ who we are behind the beliefs that lead to the feelings we all experience.

That said, what are we to do when we are “caught in the web” of a negative feeling – typically a result of an underlying belief associated with fear? We can’t run from it for sure, and no matter how hard we try to stop thinking or feeling what we are drowning in, there’s doesn’t seem to be a quick fix or extrication from the grasp of what our mind is telling us.

Personally speaking, extricating myself from those limiting beliefs has been a slow and difficult process, and only occurred over time as I challenged my negative thinking. I finally came to realize, however, that I was in charge of my thoughts and feelings, and could take authority over them. Rather than snap my fingers and have them go away, I still had to process through the experience I first created, enter into the feelings, release them, and create a new belief or interpretation to empower my actions.

I like to think of life in the way Timothy Gallwey explains how to play The Inner Game of GolfHe refers to the critic standing over our shoulder telling us how to hit the next shot, telling us what not to do, and then scolding us for doing it! To dispel the voice of this “intruder,” he suggests a number of action strategies to get us back in touch with our Natural Self ─ the one who hits the ball far better than the “self” who listens to the voice of our critic. This strategy has direct application to anything we do in life. By finding ways of getting back in the flow of being and doing that which is aligned with our authentic or Natural Self, we not only perform much better, but are far happier living life.

So, how do we change our story or shift our beliefs? Typically, these limiting beliefs have been with us a very long time, and they are probably embedded in our unconscious mind.

The first critical step to be mindful of is Awareness. As you become aware of negative thoughts having a field day in your mind (being directed by “the intruder”), try using various strategies to first interrupt the old story. Then start the new game of practicing doing this as often as needed, in order to diminish the power of and change the old belief.

Here are some strategies to interrupt “rut thinking” as soon as you become aware of having fallen into a hole:

Stand up, move about, take a walk, get physical.

Stop and engage the moment with a few breaths, and notice how your body feels.

Look up, look around, and notice where you are in the present  moment rather than being lost in thought or planning

After interrupting your pattern, you can then return to the situation and discover more clearly what is going on, the thoughts you were making up, and the feelings that resulted. Then begin the process of taking back your authority. Choose the thoughts you want to think by using thisSeven-Step Pivotal Technique to release and replace the false story you had been conditioned to make up:

1. Notice how you are feeling, how your body has reacted.

2. Experience the feeling as fully as you can. For five minutes try playing out the worst case scenario in your mind. Sorry, but this step is important. Personally, I breathe in the negativity and imagine it entering every cell of my body, and I have not died from the fear yet!

3. Surrender to the Universe ─ an all powerful loving Source. Feel the gift of this love coming your way. Ask for assistance in releasing the old unwanted pattern; then take a few deep breaths, and let go. (Some call this “Casting the burden.”)

4. Now determine whether your feeling/belief is actually true. What is the information you have to base your decision on?

5.  Notice how the old belief felt absolutely real, although it was probably not actually true. Claim this as a mantra anytime you are confronted by experiencing an old limiting belief: “real, but not true!”

6. Take authority over your thoughts, decisions, and choices, and create a new empowering belief. (If the old belief led to a limiting outcome or disappointment, consider how the new belief will create just the opposite. Imagine a new end result, with an inspired feeling, in the present moment of Now! This practice will let the Universe get busy and start creating the possibilities into which you will step and act to manifest the new result you want!)

7. Experience a moment of deep gratitude, then get active, and move on!

One of the interesting facts of life is that we sometimes pay little attention to the facts of life! So, rather than believing what you are thinking is actually true, check it out! It may just be that by noticing the actual truth, leaving negativity behind becomes a lot easier.


Source: Purpose Fairy

Are You Hating On Yourself?

There are three camps when it comes to how we treat ourselves. Which camp do you belong to?

Camp 1

These peeps love themselves, treat themselves like their own best friends, rock around emitting that love to everyone they come into contact with, and generally thrive due to the fact they can actually see the truth of how fab they really are.

Camp 2

Next door is a camp full of people who know that loving yourself is the access point to an awesome life. They totally ‘get’ that self-love is the foundation for flourishing in every single freaking area of life… the catch is that they don’t quite feel that self-love within, but they outwardly express, act and behave from the desire to love self, and generally speaking over time the shift in consciousness will help to create an environment within (mental, physical and emotional) which is conducive to love for self, and therefore allowing thriving in life as a flow on effect. The tricky thing is that when you don’t love yourself unconditionally, when there are sneaky little beliefs, memories, regrets, conditioning (mentally and emotionally) that you may hold onto (consciously or subconsciously) that feed a story that you’re not worth every bit of joy and success in your life, then when the ‘shit hits the fan’ it triggers that lack of self-love within, and it feels like you’ve all of a sudden returned to square one (ie. back to beating yourself up, talking down to yourself, struggling, battling, trying to find your way back to positivity and self-love). Belief in your own capability slowly rebuilds over time, until the next ‘shit hits the fan’ moment.

Camp 3

Then there’s a camp of peeps who haven’t quite found their way to Camp 1 or 2 yet, that don’t love themselves, they don’t even like themselves, and they actually don’t even try to pretend otherwise. This is full blown living within and expressing (possibly even embracing) self-loathing, unworthiness, and talking on down to yourself like your own worst enemy.

How Do You View and Treat Yourself?

We went out and asked our followers to tell us anonymously exactly how they view themselves and treat themselves, in order to get a really good sense of what internal blocks people are experiencing when it comes to living a rocking awesome life. Given we all have the inbuilt potential to live a completely joyful and peaceful life, a life of success (whatever success means to you), and we all have endless possibilities available to us in the Universe, what exactly is stopping some people expanding into that possibility?

I’ve grouped the hot points below into 3 sections: Love, Respect and Support.


The uplifting news is that across all the people we asked, approximately 50% said:

  • I love myself
  • I am loveable
  • I am worthy of love

And a rollicking 63% acknowledged that loving oneself is key to flourishing in this life. This is great to see. It’s undeniable truth that we each are the key to our own unfolding. We each are the ‘secret’ to living our happiest experience of life. Nothing and no one can stop you from experiencing your joy and happiness. It is only you that can block it or unleash it.

A number of our followers gave us blatantly honest responses, which allows us all to see into the heart of what a significant number of our fellow peeps in the world are experiencing in day to day life. They said they felt unloved (by self and others), disconnected and alone. Even one person in our world feeling this way is one person too many!

This finding, of people feeling unloved, disconnected and alone, speaks directly to a message in my book “Going Out On A Limb”, and it’s a message that I’m seriously all-out passionate about. That message is that even when we feel alone, unloved, disconnected, unworthy… despite that feeling, we must remind ourselves (or let others remind us lovingly, like right now!) that we are all beloved, we are all part of the universal energy, we all have an important and divine reason for being here, and we are never alone or unloved, EVER. That is because the Universe/Source/Divinity, our guides, our signals, are ALWAYS with us. They seek to show us this, if we are aware enough to notice. Life can be tough in moments, or for prolonged periods, and leave us with internal feelings that do not reflect this truth of how all-out brilliant we each are, just for being who we are, without even having to try!


It was great to see that nearly all of the people we surveyed said that they really want to accept, respect and forgive themselves and are actively practising this in their life.

The whopping 50+% that said they judge themselves regularly is a fairly accurate portrayal of modern society,we’re conditioned to try to measure up, and when we try to measure up, we end up judging who we are and what we do… we measure ourselves against what we think we should be doing or how we should be and when we appear to fall short of whatever norm we think is acceptable (in our family, our social setting, our workplace, our community or even our country), or we fall short of our own expectations, then we get on the JUDGEMENT TRAIN, that is… we judge ourselves endlessly as we chug along in our day to day life. This is another hot topic (and raw nerve) that I’m passionate about helping people to heal… because expectations and what I call the “Should’ing Syndrome”, looking to measure ourselves against constructs that leave us feeling less than, is crippling. This is another key topic covered in my book Going Out On A Limb (self-help learnings derived from gritty first-hand experience!)

And, last but not least in our 3 key topic areas in response to the question “How do you view and treat yourself”…


1/3 of our lovely peeps said they are their own best friend, but… here’s the reality for so many people… another 1/3 also said they are their own worst enemy. It’s so true for many of us, unless we wake up and proactively make choices about how we treat ourselves, we can end up living with an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other!

Most of our followers practise positive self-talk as a daily ritual, and a smaller number confirmed honestly that they talk down to themselves on a frequent basis. I’m no Freud for sure, but I would hazard a guess that at least once a day, a good chunk of the population would scold themselves internally for something, and probably without even realising they are doing it. It could be as big and nasty as “I’m a bad mother/father/manager/friend/person”, down to smaller and seemingly unimportant, derogatory self-talk like “I’m an idiot for missing that appointment” or “I’m a terrible driver”.

We are what we say, we are what we think. Our perspective of reality is ENTIRELY based on upon our perception of who we are. How you view yourself has everything to do with how you thrive, or not, in this life.

The survey showed me that while most of us acknowledge our development areas, just as many people said they are embarrassed about their weaknesses. Which leads onto the most interesting result from the survey that caught my attention.

The clincher… almost 70% of people said they find it really hard to ask for support when they need it. When I saw this in our survey results, I thought to myself:

  • Is this because we are conditioned to believe that we should all be able to cope without help?
  • Do we think that no one else is asking for help when they need it, and so we should be able to cope as well?
  • Do we fear being judged if we let ourselves be vulnerable by reaching out to others?
  • Are we simply too busy in our chaotic modern day lives to take time out to ask for help?

I tried to count the number of times I asked for help and reached out to others for information, guidance, support, advice and so on, during my adventures and ‘life transformation’ over the last 3 years or so. I lost count. My journey was not a one-woman endeavour, nor was Aaron’s transformation a one-man endeavour (as we journeyed the road to happiness together). We had to reach out for help  – from each other, from family, friends, from work colleagues, from experts, from mentors, from coaches, from advisors, from strangers, and the list goes on!) or we would have remained stuck. I would have found myself stagnant with a suffocated soul, from not living the type of life I really wanted. Whether it was David and Augustus at the ‘spiritual advice’ session I attended, or Meredith teaching me new things at the spirituality course, or asking my boss for a transfer to Auckland and a new type of role, or my sister Charlotte endlessly helping me when I fell over along the way as I went about completely tipping myself life upside down to redesign it from scratch (or more accurately to break myself down to the truth of who I really am, in order to rebuild myself to BE WHO I AM and to DO WHAT I LOVE).

And, I’ll tell you right now, after this last year, leaving Waiheke Island, going to Hawaii (as detailed in Going Out On A Limb), well… I feel freer, happier, more peaceful and more my true self than I ever have in 35 years and I categorically COULD NOT have done it if I had not reached out for support.

So, I implore you, if you are someone who is afraid to reach out for support, please… for the love of all things… swallow your fears, your negative self-talk, your pride or whatever is keeping you stuck and please, please put your freaking hand up! The Universe will deliver what you need if you will only step up to help yourself. People will materialise to support you. Information will find its way to you when you move forward to open your arms to receive it. You will find help in the most unlikely of places if you are willing to step outside your comfort zone. Do not judge how things may have gone before… perhaps once before you reached out and you didn’t get the response and support you needed. The past is gone and it has no bearing now. Life is short, don’t waste one second of it when the support you need lies all around you, beckoning you to call upon it.


Do What Makes You Happy Before You Are Too Old.


In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don’t try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present. When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you. ~Lao Tzu

We spend most of our natural lives planning. Planning the day, the evening, the working week, the weekend. After two months most of us plan a vacation. We are so busy doing the things weshould be doing that we often forget to do the things we want to do.

For instance, all my life was planned well before I had a chance to pretty much learn what I wanted. School, then college, a master degree- till here I did exactly as I had planned. Next I wanted to work before I went on to do my PhD. Half of that plan did come to life. I worked for seven years, sometimes even holding four jobs at a time. Because I thought yes that is a way to be ‘successful’.

However, during all those years I put off the things I really wanted to do. Like, I always wanted to read theology and philosophy. I always wanted to paint, not just doodle on bristol paper but actually paint on a fine canvas. I wanted to spend time with my family- quality time.

And not just limit my conversation with them to only saying ‘morning’ and ‘goodnight’. I wanted to be there for my friends when they needed me, and not just give a short call spending 80% of the time explaining how important my work was, and the remaining 20% apologizing why I wasn’t there for them on their big day.

So till about a year ago, I planned my life like this: work, hang out with friends, concentrate on my diet, sometimes workout, and then go home to sleep. I don’t want to brag but yes I was successfully able to balance all the spheres of my life. But that didn’t make me happy, time management to the core, yet there was neither ‘peace’ nor anything called remotely ‘happiness’.

I thought or in fact I had ‘planned’ that when I’ll be done and over with my life, meaning when I had done all that I was expected to do, as many of are conditioned to do so, I will do the things I really like before I die. Things like blogging, writing my book, painting, studying philosophy and mysticism, and including spending quality time with those I love. According to my calculations, this list of things to do fell approximately well after the age 60 years.

Last year, you can say I had an epiphany. And instead of running forward like the human race who wants to do be better and become better all within a tight circle of ‘success’, I started running in the opposite direction.

Why do I have to wait until I am old to do the things I want to do? Running back home felt good. The important things surfaced that I had forgotten about. The cultural conditioning started to thin away too. Mankind was never asked to run a marathon so that they could get a shiny medal around their neck. We were and are required to just ‘be’.

So in my new life I do what I love to do now, at age 29, not waiting to be toothless and blind and then after do the things I enjoy most. My time is now. When is yours?  Share your insights by commenting bellow or by posting your comments on the PurposeFairy Facebook Page.


Source: purpose fairy


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Helping or Hindering?

Everyone needs to work out their own journey through life.  It is your responsibility to love and respect them enough to give them space and to only help out when you are asked to.  Get it?

You are disempowering another human being when you try to seize control or mold them into how you want them to fit into your life.

You are not responsible for any other human being but yourself (barring minors under your care, of course).  Focus on yourself and be the best person you can be so that you can be that shining example to others.  That is the only way you will make a positive change in someone’s life.  You can’t go into their space and try to effect change.

The Prime Directive

You are responsible for your life.  Your main responsibility is to be happy — you could even call this your ‘prime directive’or ultimate goal.  If you are not happy it is your responsibility to sniff out the causes as to why you are not living in joy.

So, now say you have found your bliss but it hurts you when you see other people suffer and you want to help.

Keep Your Nose on Your Face

The stark truth is that they need to take responsibility for their life and choices.  You can always help another human being but you should never force yourself or your way of life onto someone else.

To truly love someone is to accept them as they are and respect their life path.  Can you do that?

Can you step into owning your life and taking responsibility for your choices today?  If you do, the weight of the world will be lifted from your shoulders and you will experience a freedom like no other.

It’s okay to be here, it’s okay to be you and it’s okay to let other people be themselves.

You are only responsible for you.  And thanks to the wise words of Gandhi, try to be the change you want to see in the world.


Source: purpose fairy