10 Magical Things That Start to Happen as You Begin to Love Yourself.


“I love myself…I love you. I love you…I love myself.” ~ Rumi

There is no greater love than self love.

As you begin to embrace and accept yourself fully, you will be able to embrace and accept the world around you fully.

We give what we have and the more love we have for ourselves, the more love we will be able to give to those around us.

True love starts with you. If it flows through you abundantly, it will flow back to  you abundantly.

Give more of it to yourself and you will have more to give to others.

What I will share with you today is a list of 10 magical things that start to happen as you begin to love yourself.

1. Authenticity

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

2. Respect

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

3. Maturity

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

4. Self-confidence

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

5. Simplicity

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

6. Love of oneself

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

7. Modesty

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

8. Fulfillment

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

9. Wisdom of the heart

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

10. Knowing

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!” ~ (attributed to) Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday: As I Began to Love Myself.

Are you ready and willing to start loving yourself more and more each day? What is one thing you will do today to move yourself in that direction?

Want to Read Minds? Read Good Books.


You’re an open book. After digesting short literary excerpts, people performed better on the Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test—a common measure of the ability to judge others’ mental states—compared with readers of popular fiction.

Fifty Shades of Grey may be a fun read, but it’s not going to help you probe the minds of others the way War and Peace might. That’s the conclusion of a new study, which finds that, compared with mainstream fiction, high-brow literary works do more to improve our ability to understand the thoughts, emotions, and motivations of those around us.

Perhaps it’s no surprise that the lead author of the new study, David Kidd, came to social psychology by way of Russian literature. Now a Ph.D. student at the New School in New York City, he is versed in arguments from literary theorists that divide fiction into two categories. When we read a thrilling-but-predictable bestseller, “the text sort of grabs us and takes us on a roller-coaster ride,” he says, “and we all sort of experience the same thing.” Literature, on the other hand, gives the reader a lot more responsibility. Its imaginary worlds are full of characters with confusing or unexplained motivations. There are no reliable instructions about whom to trust or how to feel.

Kidd and his adviser, social psychologist Emanuele Castano, suspected that the skills we use to navigate these ambiguous fictional worlds serve us well in real life. In particular, the duo surmised that they enhance our so-called theory of mind. That’s the ability to intuit someone else’s mental state—to know, for example, that when someone raises their hand toward us, they’re trying to give us a high-five rather than slap us. It’s closely related to empathy, the ability to recognize and share the feelings of others. Increasing evidence supports the relationship between reading fiction and theory of mind. But much of this evidence is based on correlations: Self-reported avid readers or those familiar with fiction also tend to perform better on certain tests of empathy, for example.

To measure the immediate cognitive effects of two types of fiction, Castano and Kidd designed five related experiments. In each, they asked subjects to read 10 to 15 pages of either literary or popular writing. Literary excerpts included short stories by Anton Chekhov and Don DeLillo, as well as recent winners of the PEN/O. Henry Prize and the National Book Award. For more “mainstream” selections, they looked to Amazon.com top-sellers such as Danielle Steel’s The Sins of the Mother and Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl, and to anthologies of genre fiction, including a sci-fi story by Robert Heinlein.

When participants finished their excerpts, they took tests designed to measure theory of mind. In one test, the Diagnostic Analysis of Nonverbal Accuracy 2—Adult Faces (DANVA2-AF) test, they looked at a face for 2 seconds and decided whether the person appeared happy, angry, afraid, or sad. In the more nuanced Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test (RMET), they saw only a small slice of a face and picked from four complex emotions such as “contemplative” and “skeptical.”

On average, both groups did slightly better on these tests than control subjects who read either a nonfiction article or nothing at all. This fits with previous research showing a positive relationship between fiction and theory of mind. But among the fiction readers, those who read “literary” works scored significantly higher on the theory of mind tests than those who read popular selections, Kidd and Castano report online today in Science. The absolute differences in scores were hardly dramatic: On average, the literary group outperformed the popular group by about two questions (out of 36) on the RMET test, and missed one fewer question (out of 18) on the DANVA2-AF. But psychologist Raymond Mar of York University in Toronto, Canada, notes that even very small effects could be meaningful, provided they translate into real-world consequences—reducing the likelihood that social misunderstandings could create grudges or leave someone in tears.

Keith Oatley, a cognitive psychologist at the University of Toronto, agrees that any evidence of literature’s effect based on this experimental approach is “big news.” “I’m quite impressed that they managed to find results with these tests.”

Still, the “literariness” argument needs hammering out. Castano believes these results show that fiction’s power doesn’t hinge on exposing readers to foreign viewpoints or offering a persuasive, empathetic message. “For us, it’s not about the content,” he says. “It was about the process.” But Mar points out that there are probably many ways to improve theory of mind, and “different things might work for different people.” Some may find that stories with a moral of acceptance and empathy increase their theory of mind skills, for example, while others might benefit more from the practice of filling in the emotional gaps in an ambiguous story.

Cognitive neuroscientist Vittorio Gallese of the University of Parma in Italy, who is also exploring how the brain responds to works of art, finds the new link between real and fictional worlds exciting, but is skeptical of the distinction between literary and mainstream fiction. “This is a very slippery ground,” he says, because historical tastes often move the boundary between “high” and “low” art. For example, he says, Honoré de Balzac’s The Human Comedy was released in serial form as a work of “popular” fiction, but has since attained the status of a classic.

5 Easy Ways to Keep Your Actions Aligned with Your Priorities.


It is not enough to be busy… The question is: what are we busy about? Henry David Thoreau

A busy life is a modern reality. We rush from activity to activity, chore to chore. But at the end of the day, did all of our hustle and bustle actually align with our core values and life goals?

For many of us, the answer is often, “no”. I propose, if our days are to be packed from dawn until dusk, we owe it to ourselves to make sure our activities are serving us.

It all starts with identifying your real goals. For me, my real goals are scratched out on a post-it note that hangs on my bedroom mirror. They are: connection with my family, maintaining my health and making time for my writing. Once you know what’s really important to you, you’re ready to use the five strategies below to make sure your daily actions align with your priorities.

busy

1. Make a short list of actions every morning

When you wake up, roll over and jot down two or three simple things you can do today that will serve your higher purpose. This is especially important if you’re working a job that doesn’t particularly match your life goals, but is necessary to get your bills paid right now.

2. Read something relevant to your goal every day

During your morning train ride or time spent waiting in line for coffee, read something to either inspire you or help you gain knowledge to get you closer to your goals. Subscribing to blogs in your areas of interest is an easy way to keep relevant reading material close at hand.

3. Listen to something relevant to your goal while doing banal tasks

The dishes still need to be done and the towels still need to be folded, make use of busy work by listening to an audio book or podcast that is meaningful for you.

4. Schedule activities that don’t align with your goals, don’t default to them

It’s just too easy to turn on the television and waste a few hours. If there are activities you enjoy, but get in the way of acting in line with your priorities, schedule them infrequently rather than making them a default whenever you don’t know what else to do. For example, save watching the latest episode of Mad Men for every Friday night.

5. Journal your progress at the end of the day

Before you go to sleep,do a quick recap of your day and identify which of your activities was in line with your goals and what you spent time on that wasn’t. This will keep your choices front and center and hold you accountable for acting in ways that align with your priorities.

Follow these five tips for the next thirty days and you’ll be amazed at how keeping your actions in line with your priorities becomes second nature. Your busy life will begin to feel less frantic and more intentional.

Source: purpose fairy

A Radical Self-care Conspiracy to Transform Your Life.


SELF-CARE

Let us advance on Chaos and the Dark. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Each of us views the world through lenses of our choice, and I believe that a closer look at superficial symptoms can reveal a profound underlying root cause. Often people feel broken or lost among an overwhelming amount of inputs.

When this occurs, I like to get to the root cause of suffering, which can often be lifted with a renewal of commitment to self-care. Did you know that the word “radical” actually means root? Equally as interesting is the meaning of the word “conspire”: to breathe together.

Daily, we are invited to participate in stories with others, where sometimes all we can do is breathe together. Is it possible to take a closer look at where we do have power to shape our own stories within a larger community? Recently a loved one sent me the above photograph of a rose bush, which I believe illustrates my point. A single yellow rose, with its own distinct fragrance, stands out among the red roses who expected it to be red also. They are all rooted in the same source and get light from the same source, but one flower has processed the sunlight through very different lenses.

What better way to further illustrate self-care than with a fable by the Brothers Grimm entitled The Handless Maiden?

A father has fallen into poverty and makes a deal with a shady character: Severing his daughter’s hands in exchange for endless material wealth.

After the maiden’s hands are severed, she relegates herself to the forest, eating fruit from the trees like a giraffe. When a charming land baron finds her grazing in his pear orchard, he has hands of silver fashioned for her. The two fall in love and have a child together.

But the shady character begins to stalk the maiden once again, so she has her child lashed to her back and escapes to the forest. As she sits near a stream to attempt to nurse her baby, the baby slips into the stream. The maiden desperately thrusts her silver hands into the water, but as she brings her arms up out of the water, her silver hands have been replaced with real flesh and fingers, with her child clutched inside them. 

She realizes her power for renewal lies in the water, and that in caring for her baby she has ultimately cared for herself.

I love this story for its vivid imagery and creepiness, but also for the message of shaping our own stories despite the overwhelming pressures and inputs we must process. Each of us can see ourselves as the yellow rose from the photograph, breathing together with the rest while also voicing the song that only we can sing.

Source: Purpose Fairy