‘Asthma is a killer – it took away my miracle daughter’


Lisa Dennis is looking at photos of her daughter Olivia – a blonde girl with a radiant smile.

These are special moments, frozen in time. Olivia died four years ago, aged 10, after having an asthma attack.

Ten-year-old girl who died from asthma

Her parents did not even know their gymnastics-loving daughter had the condition.

But Olivia is not the only child to lose their life to asthma.

According to the latest data for England and Wales, 37 children and teenagers died from the disease in 2014.

The figure has risen over the past five years. But many of these deaths are thought to be preventable.

Lisa vividly remembers the night Olivia died. It was a bitterly cold night, and they were at home in Kent.

Struggling to breathe

Lisa, who is married and has a younger son, told BBC News: “We’d tried so long to have children, and when she came along, it was just a miracle for us.

“Olivia was a really special, beautiful girl.

“That night, she was on all fours on the bed – and struggling to breathe.

“She collapsed onto the floor. I tried CPR [cardiopulmonary resuscitation], but unfortunately it didn’t work.

Ten-year-old girl who died from asthmaImage copyrightMR AND MRS DENNIS
Image captionOlivia’s parents want an end to complacency about asthma

“I’ll never forget being at the hospital and the consultant asking us if Olivia was asthmatic.

“I said, ‘No, but she has an inhaler.’ He said to us there and then, ‘Your daughter is asthmatic.'”

Lisa’s ongoing grief is compounded by her frustration about what she says is a lack of awareness of asthma.

She had been given an inhaler for an allergy, but Lisa says the word “asthma” was never mentioned to the family, and the medicine was issued by repeat prescription.


Asthma: What you need to know

  • Asthma is a common but unpredictable illness
  • It affects the airways and can lead to shortness of breath, coughing and a tight feeling in the chest
  • One in 11 children is affected
  • Inhalers need to be used regularly and effectively
  • The blue inhalers provide relief during an attack, while the brown ones are for more regular use to prevent flare-ups
  • Steroids via an inhaler reduce the inflammation from asthma
  • The UK has some of the highest asthma death rates in Europe

The feeling is shared by Dr Satish Rao, from Birmingham Children’s Hospital, who runs an NHS service in the West Midlands for difficult asthma cases.

He said: “One of the biggest frustrations for us is the complacency among healthcare professionals about asthma in children and young people.

“We have struggled to convince professionals that asthma is a serious illness, and that patients can die from a severe attack.

“It’s probably because it’s a common illness, and quite often we hear staff saying, ‘Oh, it’s just asthma.'”

Dr Rao believes many deaths could be prevented by better information about when to seek medical help.

And he is aware of 16 cases in his region where schools have to work very closely with families and give them extra support to make sure the children keep their condition under control.

‘Asthma is a killer’

The number of child asthma deaths has risen steadily from 17 in 2010 to 37 in 2014.

Portsmouth GP Dr Andy Whittamore, who is also Asthma UK’s clinical lead, says it can be difficult to get young patients to adhere to taking their medicine.

He said: “With children particularly, there’s lots of fear about the medicine itself – and from their parents too.

“Steroids have got a bad press because of abuse by bodybuilders and doping in the Olympics.

“But the doses we give are in very low levels – and if taken correctly, they only go directly into the lungs.”

These misconceptions can be fuelled by stigma, with asthmatic children in particular not wanting to be seen as weak or inferior.

Asthma UK has even found that teenagers sometimes shied away from using inhalers because they thought their shape resembled that of sex toys.

Bereaved mother Lisa believes much more can be done.

She said: “Everyone needs to look at their children – especially anyone with an inhaler – because asthma is a killer.

“And I think doctors need to recognise that and make families aware because this is serious, desperately serious.”

Lisa wants to see awareness posters in GP surgeries, more regular reviews and plans for young asthma patients, and an improved inhaler design so the actual device contains advice for bystanders helping with an attack.

These are simple measures, which could help save lives.

Mobile phones destroying people’s private lives


They have been marketed as a way to make us all more “connected”, but a new academic study shows that mobile phones could be destroying people’s private lives and even affecting their ability to think.

Researchers found mobile phones can cause blood pressure to rise.

Mobile phones destroying people private lives

A team based at the Cologne Institute for Economic Research catalogued the ways in which the mobile revolution has transformed family life and friendships as well as its impact on politics and economics.

 

They found that although mobile phones have enabled people to stay in touch instantly, they have also begun to change the way they conduct relationships and even how they speak to each other.

 

It argues that, unlike any other invention, the mobile phone has become an “extension of the body” which people take with them everywhere, enabling it to invade their private time with family and close friends.

Mobiles have become so ubiquitous that people no longer switch them off to have important conversations, meetings or even while having sex, the study, drawing together a range of academic research and survey evidence, points out.

It warns that while they can provide parents with important reassurance for about their children’s whereabouts, they could also be impeding the growing-up process by enabling neurotic adults to infringe on the natural “free space” young people need in ways not possible before.

And while enabling husbands and wives to “check on” each other throughout the day could strengthen relationships, it could also have a darker side, denying people freedom or even to exert a new type of “control” over each other.

Significantly, it finds that although mobile phones enable people keep in touch with a wide group of friends, for most people the majority of calls and text messages are exchanged with narrow circle of only four to six people.

“The concept of extending our social ties via mobile devices can both create intimate space and encroach on it,” wrote Prof Richard Ling, an IT expert at Copenhagen University.

“If one seeks to be alone, the mobile phone on display can be a powerful tool to impede contact with others, for example in a bar.

“Actual as opposed to staged continuous contact with others, however, ultimately threatens the most important part of intimacy, namely being alone with one’s thoughts and one’s own inner resources.

“Besides threatening our most private time, phone calls may also intrude the intimate space we share with someone else.

“As today one usually knows who is calling due to screen displays, not picking up the phone when it rings sends a message to the caller.

“Consequently, one has to consider whether to pick up the phone or not carefully. This is why we feel obliged to at least check who is calling even if this means breaking the intimate space shared with someone else at that time.”

He added: “This link between device and person has obviously altered our conversations.

“The information about who is on the phone is replaced by where the person we are calling is: ‘I’m on the bus’ or ‘I’m in bed’ have become important pieces of information at the start of a conversation as they quickly negotiate the level of intimacy appropriate for the following conversation given the surroundings of the persons involved.

“As a result, the mobile phone becomes a part of you.”

: The study, which is being published on Friday, was supported by Vodafone.

Trying to meet your partner’s needs is ‘the most horrific advice I could imagine’


Hal Runkel is a family therapist and the author of “Choose Your Own Adulthood.” In this video, he explains the difference between needs and wants in a marriage. Following is a transcript of the video.

In terms of romantic relationships, the worst piece of advice is that you are supposed to meet one another’s needs.

That is the most horrific piece of advice I can imagine because what that means is that you are a needy person. And you need the other person to express their neediness to you. And our relationship is going to be built on each other’s willingness and ability to meet the neediness of the other.

 That is not a recipe for a good relationship because two needy people, think about it. When’s the last time you actually respected an emotionally needy person, much less found them attractive? The reality is I only need breath and water and food and shelter and that’s all I need. And clothing. I don’t need my wife. Which frees me up to want her.

I could do life without her. I don’t want to do life without her. I want to do life with her. I want her to want me. I can’t force that. But I’m not going to tell her, “You know what? I deserve this because I’m so needy.”

That does not attract. That repels. You know what attracts is, “I don’t need you, and I could live without you, but that’s the last thing I’d want to do. I want you, I want you in my life with me.”  

That enables a relationship to go through seasons where you’re not at equal functioning. Where you’re not able to equally meet each other’s needs like when my wife got cancer the first time, or the second time, or when I’ve had 6 surgeries and she had to nurse me through in these long seasons.

You say to meet each other’s needs equally during that. You can’t. And that’s not what you signed up for. I signed up to say, “I do,” regardless of what state she’s in. I said, “I do,” and that means I’m going to want her, not need her, and she’s signed on to do the same.

Bruce Lee Achieved All His Life Goals By His Death At Age 32 Because Of These 6 Principles.


Bruce Lee Achieved All His Life Goals By His Death At Age 32 Because Of These 6 Principles…

In 1969, nobody expected a skinny Asian man to become one of the most influential personalities in modern history.

Nobody, that is, except for Bruce Lee.

Named by TIME magazine as 1 of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century, and the first person to ever be inducted into the martial arts hall of fame, Bruce Lee was a man light years ahead of his time. In fact, he was light years ahead of our time too.

Much more than just an actor, or a martial artist with charismatic personality, Bruce was a deep thinker, and a philosopher, worthy of the same recognition and praise, in my book, as a Plato,  Nietzsche, and many other great minds in history. Not just for his profound outlook on life, but for his ability to apply his philosophy and demonstrate tangible results. It is extremely rare for anyone to be able to all but perfect their physical, mental and spiritual being. Bruce, accomplished them all, and did so at the young age of just 32.

How did he accomplish this great task, is the obvious question. Well, I recently became aware of some letters Bruce wrote, and had to share it with my followers.

I, Bruce Lee, will be the first highest paid Oriental super star in the United States. In return I will give the most exciting performances and render the best of quality in the capacity of an actor. Starting 1970 I will achieve world fame and from then onward till the end of 1980 I will have in my possession $10,000,000. I will live the way I please and achieve inner harmony and happiness.

Bruce Lee
Jan. 1969

Actual letter Bruce wrote himself

Four years after penning this mysterious letter, this remarkable human being was found dead. But during those short four years, Bruce accomplished all of his stated goals and more. In fact, Bruce revolutionized martial arts, which is why the president of the UFC refers to him as the father of mixed martial arts. But even more impressive than this distinction, is the fact that Bruce helped change the world’s perception of the entire Chinese race.

You see, prior to Bruce’s entry into Hollywood, Chinese people were largely portrayed in a demeaning and degrading light. For decades China was considered the “sick man of Asia” because the Western powers, and Japanese elite, invaded and decimated the country during the Opium WarsThis had a terrible impact on the Chinese people, who were largely relegated to a position of servitude and helplessness. Bruce, however, helped to change that concept forever, and replaced this disempowering stereotype with one of martial arts and strength. A colossal feat that is often overlooked.

SO HOW THE HELL DID BRUCE LEE KNOW HE WAS GOING TO DO THIS?

Bruce’s declaration to himself is undoubtedly intriguing. How could he know such a thing?? Well, reading another letter he wrote — this one when he was just 21 years old — provides us with the preceding insight;

Dear Pearl,

This letter is hard to understand. It contains my dreams and my ways of thinking, as a whole, you can call it my way of life. It will be rather confusing as it is difficult to write down exactly how I feel. Yet I want to write and let you know about it. I’ll do my best to write it clearly and I hope that you, too, will keep an open mind in this letter, and don’t arrive at any conclusions till you are finished.

There are two ways of making a good living, one is the result of hard working, and the other, the result of the imagination (requires work, too, of course). It is a fact that labor and thrift produce a competence, but fortune, in the sense of wealth, is the reward of the man who can think of something that hasn’t been thought of before. In every industry, in every profession, ideas are what America is looking for. Ideas have made America what she is, and one good idea will make a man what he wants to be.

 One part of my life is gung fu. This art influences me greatly in the formation of my character and ideas. I practice gung fu as a physical culture, a form of mental training, a method of self-defense, and a way of life. Gung fu is the best of all martial art; yet the Chinese derivatives of judo and karate, which are only basics of gung fu, are flourishing all over the US. This so happens because no one has heard of this supreme art; also there are no competent instructors… I believe my long years of practice back up my title to become the first instructor of this movement. There are yet long years ahead of me to polish my techniques and character. My aim, therefore, is to establish a first Gung Fu Institute that will later spread out all over the US (I have set up a time limit of 10 to 15 years to complete the whole project). My reason in doing this is not the sole objective of making money. The motives are many and among them are: I like to let the world know about the greatness of this Chinese art; I enjoy teaching and helping people; I like to have a well-to-do home for my family; I like to originate something; and the last but yet one of the important is because gung fu is part of myself.

I know my idea is right, and therefore the results would be satisfactory. I don’t really worry about the reward, but to set in motion the machinery to achieve it. My contribution will be the measure of my reward and success.

Before he passed away, some asked the late Dr Charles P. Steimetz, the electrical genius, in his opinion “What branch of science would make the most progress in the next twenty-five years?” He paused and thought for several minutes then like a flash replied, “spiritual realization.” When a man comes to a conscious vital realization of those great spiritual forces within himself and begins to use those forces in science, in business and in life, his progress in the future will be unparalleled.

I feel I have this great creative and spiritual force within me that is greater than faith, greater than ambition, greater than confidence, greater than determination, greater than vision. It is all these combined. My brain becomes magnetized with this dominant force which I hold in my hand.

When you drop a pebble into a pool of water, the pebble starts a series of ripples that expand until they encompass the whole pool. This is exactly what will happen when I give my ideas a definite plan of action. Right now, I can project my thoughts into the future, I can see ahead of me. I dream (remember that practical dreamers never quit). I may now own nothing but a little place down in basement, but once my imagination has got up to a full head of steam, I can see painted on a canvas of my mind a picture of a fine, big five or six story Gung Fu Institute with branches all over the States. I am not easily discouraged, readily visualize myself as overcoming obstacles, winning out over setbacks, achieving “impossible” objectives.

Whether it is the God-head or not, I feel this great force, this unstopped power, this dynamic something within me. This feeling defies description, and [there is] no experience with which this feeling may be compared. It is something like a strong emotion mixed with faith, but a lot stronger.

All in all, the goal of my planning and doing is to find the true meaning in life — peace of mind. I know that the sum of all the possessions I mentioned does not necessarily add up to peace of mind; however, it can be if I devote [my energy] to real accomplishment of self rather than neurotic combat. In order to achieve this peace of mind, the teaching of detachment of Taoism and Zen proved to be valuable….

Probably, people will say I’m too conscious of success. Well, I am not. You see, my will to do springs from the knowledge that I CAN DO. I’m only being natural, for there is no fear or doubt inside my mind.

Pearl, success comes to those who become success-conscious. If you don’t aim at an object, how the heck on earth do you think you can get it?

Warm regards,
Bruce

Considering that Bruce Lee was just 21 years old when he wrote this letter, it’s absolutely mind blowing. In fact, regardless of his age, the contents are incredibly profound.

What we learn here, is Bruce was actually living in a basement at the time, but had come to know that there was something within him infinitely more powerful than his current circumstances, which he referred to as a “great creative and spiritual force within” him. It is this force, along with the following principles, that culminated in his incredible accomplishments.

BRUCE LEE’S 6 PRINCIPLES

Know Your Why

As it has been said, if you can come up with a powerful reason why you want to achieve your goal in life — and then keep it in mind — you can endure almost any how.

For Bruce, he clearly laid out his reasons why; citing his passion for martial arts, his conviction to help other people, his desire to improve the lives of his loved ones, and his deep calling to share a part of himself with the world.

Do What You Are Passionate About

Bruce made it clear that he was not doing this for “the sole objective of making money,”but he was passionate about his goals.

You see, when we work for something that we are passionate about, something that truly makes us come alive; not only are we willing to work 7 days a week, 365 days a year for it (which dramatically improves our chances at becoming successful), but it also gives us a sense of great purpose, and this is deeply satisfying for us, something that money could never buy.

There Is A Power Within Us Greater Than Our Circumstances

So often we limit ourselves by thinking logically about our circumstances or situation, and this discourages us. I mean imagine you are living in a basement, like Bruce was, and then you make the claim that you are gonna change the world. It is one of the most irrational things you could do. But rather than thinking rationally, Bruce had come to learn that he had an incredible power within him that could lift him out of his circumstances.

You can call this force, willpower, spiritual force (as Bruce did), determination, or whatever you like, but it clearly exists and has actually been demonstrated time and time again by various personalities throughout history. Recognizing that you can access it, will help you overcome that which is seemingly “impossible”.

Self Education

Any problem we may face in life, someone has already dealt with before us and written a book on it. If we want to start our own company, someone has written a book on that. If we want to overcome our depression, someone has written a book on that. If we want to overcome poverty, someone has written a book on that. If we want to understand the power of the mind, someone has written a book on that.

Bruce is a man who understood the power of reading and self education well. In fact, at age 32, his personal library is said to have contained well over 2,500 books. Amongst this impressive list, included famous readings on the power of the imagination, like Think and Grow RichThe Power Of Positive Thinking, and As a Man Thinkethamongst others. And judging by his impassioned letter regarding the use of his imagination to create a better life for himself, these certainly had a massive influence on him.

Uncompromising Self Confidence

Confidence is not what most people think. Confidence is the uncompromising belief — and commitment — that regardless of what obstacles we may face in life, and no matter how many times we might fail, nothing and no one is going to be able to stop us from achieving our goal.

Bruce had this uncompromising confidence in himself, and made up his mind, that even though he might be living in a basement right now, and even though he might meet with temporary failure, he will never quit. And he will do whatever is required to achieve his goals.

Take Action

All the reading, self educating, and positive thinking in the world, means nothing without taking positive action. If you want to create change, get busy. As Bruce himself once said, “Balance your thoughts with action. — If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy


15-Things-You-Should-Give-Up-To-Be-Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress, and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress-free and happy – we cling on to them.

Not anymore.

Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh, my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, many things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.


“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” 
Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
 Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present.

Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice.

The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think are best for them.

They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually, they forget about themselves.

You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Source:purposefairy.com

When All Hope Is Gone


“I wanna ask you, “How are you?” What heaviness are you carrying? What tears do you hold back? What pain, what fears, are kept inside?” ~ Nick Vujicic
When all hope is gone; when you feel lost, confused, abandoned and all alone; when darkness seems to swallow you and pain is all you feel, I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and when you’re ready, I want you to watch this beautiful and inspiring video. It will soothe your soul, and it will remind you that are not alone. There is still hope.

“I wanna ask you, “How are you?” What heaviness are you carrying? What tears do you hold back? What pain, what fears, are kept inside?

You don’t have to hold onto these fears if you just take one step at a time. Not to say that one day those fears will completely disappear but, can you forgive those who hurt you? Because that’s where healing starts. Every time someone puts you back will you make a decision to bring somebody else up? Picture yourself in a proper area. There is no buildings, no shelter, and there is a storm above you. This storm represents the situations in your life you don’t tell anybody what you are going through because first of all, they wouldn’t understand, and second of all, they can’t even help you anyway. During this storm you’re down on your knees, and you’re cold, and you’re weak, and you feels like this is the end. Are you not still here?

You are still here. There are some times in life when you fall down. You feel like you don’t have the strength to get back up. But if I fell I try again and again. For as long as I try there is always that chance of getting up. And it’s not the end until you given up. And just the fact that you are here should persuade you that you have another chance to get back. There’s still hope

Watch the video. URL:https://youtu.be/uXCVp7MIyNw

There are some times in life when you fall down. You feel like you don’t have the strength to get back up. But if I fell I try again and again. For as long as I try there is always that chance of getting up. And it’s not the end until you given up. And just the fact that you are here should persuade you that you have another chance to get back. There’s still hope.” ~ Nick Vujicic

Source:purposefairy.com

5 Tips to Get Past the Blame Game


When you get angry or you blame somebody, you feel a heavy load on your head. You feel uncomfortable inside, and you spread unpleasant feelings all around you too. Blaming does not give you anything positive in return. Instead, owning responsibility for all your experiences in life makes you powerful and will put an end to grumbling, planning counter attacks, explanations, and all those host of negative tendencies. Owning full responsibility, you become free.

Here are 5 tips to walk yourself out of the tendency to blame and move towards higher levels of awareness and a more positive way of life.

#1 Blaming is not going to give you anything positive in return

What is the use of blame? See, you blame someone and if that person is really a culprit, for the first time it will provoke him or her, but if you keep blaming, he becomes numb to it; he doesn’t care. Suppose someone is a real thief, and you keep telling him, ‘You are a thief’, you are wasting your time blaming him, because every time you say it, it doesn’t matter to him. It doesn’t touch him at all.
So, a true culprit doesn’t get affected by your blaming him or her. Instead of blaming them, take this opportunity as an exercise for you to maintain your equanimity and your inner balance.
If everything is okay, if everybody is praising you and you say that I am a very balanced person, it doesn’t mean much.

#2 Before blaming someone, analyze your purpose of blaming

You want to correct the person, is that why you are blaming them? Or are you blaming because you want to vent out your emotions? What is your attitude? Why do you want to do it?
If you are just venting out your emotions then that is reflect on your own immaturity and lack of control over your own mind, that all. So, analyze your purpose of blaming someone before putting the blame on them.

#3 Blame reflects lack of communication

If your intention is to correct a person, you cannot correct them by blaming them. You can only correct them with love, compassion and communication. Blame means no communication.

If someone is a real culprit and you want to correct them, you can only do it through communication. And if he or she is not a real culprit, then your whole exercise is futile.

#4 Switch from blame to constructive criticism

Blaming is out of anger, jealousy, hatred and does not work. It does not yield any result. Instead give constructive criticism with compassion. A criticism should go with compassion and care, then it works.

#5 Above all, be patient

If you have patience then you can turn any situation, event or place into heaven. If you lack patience you will make heaven into hell. It’s impatience that destroys situations and the environment. Learn to accept other people’s point of view, and above all, be patient, as no endeavor will be successful without patience.

Source:https://www.artofliving.org

Beautiful Noise


Sound helps you to release blocked energy, says music therapist and sound healing practitioner, PANKAJ BORICHA


Among the world’s noisiest cities are Shanghai,Tokyo,New York and Mumbai — cities full of sound pollutants.We are surrounded by different sound frequencies, some of which are not even audible. Unconsciously, these noise forms have multiple adverse effects on our health.As the effects of noise pollution pile up, we end up with hearing loss, stress, sleep disturbance and heart disease. According to a new analysis, stress hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline, and noradrenaline released over time could eventually lead to high blood pressure, stroke and heart failure. We are also losing our power of listening due to these excessive sound pollutants. Eventually, these affect us mentally and physically and lead to behavioural changes. We must educate ourselves on how we can harness this ancient technique and use the power of sound and music for healing and curing diseases. Once we understand this knowledge,we can spread awareness about sound and use it as a healing tool.

Different modalities of sound have been used in medical science — ultra sound and lithotripsy are among a few of them. But the majority of us are not aware about the power of sound as a sonic and acoustic weapon. Sound has been used in various cultures for centuries as a tool for healing — through the use of mantras and chanting, by playing instruments such as didgeridoo to heal bone fractures, and Tibetan bowl bells and gongs to produce different sound frequencies to align mental and physical health.All these techniques use sound to move us from imbalance to a balanced state of mind. Sound therapy offers cure for a variety of health problems including sleep disorders,anxiety,depression,stress management, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), and pain management.

Our brainwaves are tuned to different sound vibrations through sound rhythm and frequency.We entrain our brainwaves to down-shift our normal waking consciousness beta state to a relaxed alpha state and can reach theta meditative state and deep sleep delta state where internal healing can occur. This same concept has been utilised in meditation by regulating the breath,but with sound and music at a certain frequency, it’s easier to influence a shift.In sound therapy, as you prepare yourself to become the receiver of sound,by becoming more receptive and aware of each sound, it creates a pathway of stillness,the same way as meditation or chanting a mantra does.Eventually, this helps us reach the still point to an active subconscious state of mind. The tools here are sound, voice, rhythm, drumming and frequency. Awareness plays a huge role in our own healing. Also, we must realise that our voice is incredibly powerful. It is our body that has the ability to fine-tune our greatest vibrational instrument. Sound frequency helps in releasing blocked energy and you are able to recycle your energy back into your life force,toward the energetic filtration system of each chakra.You must be aware of the different kinds of sounds that you take in daily from your immediate living environment. For instance,we are usually irritated with traffic sounds and the constant high decibel levels in local trains.Loud sounds elevate our stress levels, creating imbalances in our nervous system,lower our immunity and in extreme cases, cause hearing loss. When we are stressed, our whole relationship to sound changes.Even routine, everyday sounds become magnified and contribute to the feedback cycle of the stress. However, by utilising sound therapy techniques, we can become better listeners and more aware of the sounds we take in. Many of us already have a pretty good understanding of the benefits of healthy eating, yoga,meditation,and exercise.The same is true of sound therapy. We know mindfulness practices like chanting and vocal toning help us to find a centre and feel grounded. Our body, mind and spirit always want to move in a direction toward balance from noise to silence, yet we often have excess outer stimulus and noise and not enough time to dedicate to ourselves. This prevents us from achieving a better state of harmony. Sound has a way of helping us reach the source of the inner peace that we all seek. Let’s improve our power of listening and be aware consciously of different sounds, so that we can gradually improve the quality of our life and that of people around us.

Source: speakingtree.in

The Key to Getting All You Want? Discipline


Without the discipline of paying constant, daily attention, we take things for granted. Be serious. Life is not a practice session.

For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards. That’s one of life’s great arrangements. If you sow well, you will reap well. Life is full of laws that both govern and explain behaviors, but the law of sowing and reaping may well be the major law we need to understand: For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards.

Self Discipline

What a concept! If you render unique service, your reward will be multiplied. If you’re fair and honest and patient with others, your reward will be multiplied. If you give more than you expect to receive, your reward is more than you expect. But remember: The key word here—as you might well imagine—is discipline.

 Everything of value requires care, attention and discipline. Our thoughts require discipline. We must consistently determine our inner boundaries and our codes of conduct, or our thoughts will be confused. And if our thoughts are confused, we will become hopelessly lost in the maze of life. Confused thoughts produce confused results.

Remember the law: For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards. Learn the discipline of writing a card or a letter to a friend. Learn the discipline of paying your bills on time, or arriving to appointments on time, or using your time more effectively. Learn the discipline of paying attention, or paying your taxes, or paying yourself. Learn the discipline of having regular meetings with your associates, or your spouse, or your child, or your parent. Learn the discipline of learning all you can learn, of teaching all you can teach, of reading all you can read.

              For each discipline, multiple rewards; for each book, new knowledge; for each success, new ambition; for each challenge, new understanding; for each failure, new determination. Life is like that. Even the bad experiences of life provide their own special contribution. But a word of caution here for those who neglect the need for care and attention to life’s disciplines: everything has its price. Everything affects everything else. Neglect discipline, and there will be a price to pay. All things of value can be taken for granted with the passing of time.

That’s what we call the Law of Familiarity. Without the discipline of paying constant, daily attention, we take things for granted. Be serious. Life is not a practice session.

Think about your life at this moment. What areas need attention right now? Perhaps you’ve had a disagreement with someone you love or someone who loves you, and your anger won’t allow you to speak to that person. Wouldn’t this be an ideal time to examine your need for a new discipline? Perhaps you’re on the brink of giving up, or starting over, or starting out. And the only missing ingredient to your incredible success story in the future is a new and self-imposed discipline that will make you try harder and work more intensely than you ever thought you could.

The most valuable form of discipline is the one that you impose upon yourself. Don’t wait for things to deteriorate so drastically that someone else must impose discipline in your life. Wouldn’t that be tragic? How could you possibly explain the fact that someone else thought more of you than you thought of yourself? That they forced you to get up early and get out into the marketplace when you would have been content to let success go to someone else who cared more about themselves.

Your life, my life, the life of each one of us is going to serve as either a warning or an example. A warning of the consequences of neglect, self-pity, lack of direction and ambition… or an example of talent put to use, of discipline self-imposed, and of objectives clearly perceived and intensely pursued.

Source:success.com

7 Ways to Develop Daily Discipline


Many people wonder how I manage to stay so disciplined. They think my life must be very hard because I’ve always followed a strict schedule, from when I was training to be an Olympic athlete to now, since I’ve co-founded Onbotraining, an online coaching service that helps people achieve their goals.

But I don’t see it that way because I love what I do. My journey to the Olympics showed me what it takes to become skilled at something, and I don’t mind replicating that journey in my professional life. I have never minded the struggle because I know it offers me the opportunity to reach my goals.

I worked full time while I trained full time for the Beijing Olympics. I am not an exception in the world of elite athletes—many support themselves with dual high-level careers and live their dreams by achieving their Olympic goals. They push their capabilities to their limits and enjoy lives of purpose.

These athletes know how discipline works, how it shows you are in control of your life. It’s the path to get anything you want.

So how do you maintain a discipline? By combining an automated brain program—doing whatever needs to be done—with an incredible commitment to your goal.

It becomes increasingly harder to be disciplined in a society that prizes instant gratification. We are more concerned about feeling good all the time, so we seek immediate pleasures, whether it’s a new car, an exotic trip or a new partner. Our long-term goals are not so important anymore. We get comfortable and wait for a special event to give our lives meaning, happiness and success.

Discipline is the difference between being in control of your future and letting your environment dictate your destiny.

Discipline means freedom and happiness. It gives you the ability to do what you want because you know you can learn how to achieve any dream you set your mind to. Discipline teaches you how to control your thoughts—and how to be happy in any situation, to visualize positive emotions and trigger an optimistic mood. Discipline builds self-confidence, mental and physical strength, and inspires you to grow as a human being. With growth comes the ability to enjoy life in deeper, more meaningful ways.

Anyone can develop discipline. It’s a skill and it’s not complicated—you just have to train yourself for it.

 7 Ways to Develop Daily Discipline

Here’s how:

1. Set big goals.

When you challenge yourself to achieve bigger goals, you really dedicate yourself to the craft. The more time you spend on it, the harder it becomes to quit. Once you have spent so much sweat, time and effort on it, if you quit, it will be for nothing. The bigger the goal, the more invested you become.

2. Set clear goals.

Clearly define what your goal means to you and what you will specifically do to achieve it. If you set a goal to live healthier, for example, will you go running every day? At what time and for how long? Will you eat healthy? If there is no clear goal, there is no opportunity to create the specific steps you’d need to do to accomplish it.

3. Know that every day matters.

When you wake up in the morning, do you know what’s most important for you to accomplish that day? Every goal, every priority, you have set for yourself has to be done—it will determine whether your dream lives or dies. Athletes know if they skip even one training session, they are already behind; they know they will lose a competition that is still three months away if they don’t do what they said they would, if they don’t follow through with their plan—if they aren’t disciplined.

4. Don’t argue with the plan.

If you want to go to the Olympics, each training session matters; there isn’t one that’s less important than another. It’s the same with everything else in your life. When you start the process, you cannot question it, you cannot hesitate, you cannot back down—you have to work hard every single day to reach your dream, full force.

Related: The 5 Non-Negotiable Disciplines of a High Achiever

5. Build a no-matter-what mindset.

Build the mindset that no matter what, you will accomplish things when you said you would. No matter what. You have to create pressure for yourself, otherwise nothing will get done. There is good stress and bad stress, and you have to make sure you are operating under good stress—butterflies in the stomach, a manageable adrenaline that stimulates you.

6. Plan a routine.

Create a routine that becomes second nature, automatic, normal. Athletes, for example, know what hours they train, when to break for lunchtime and dinnertime, and when to rest. In training, they know they have to do a warm-up, main training, and cool-down and recovery. By following the same routine, it becomes second nature—the discipline preps them to win. Planning your own routine—and sticking to it until it becomes automatic—can prep you for success, too.

7. Commit.

Discipline was instilled in me by my mom. When I would ask her if I could start art, dancing or volleyball classes, she would say, “Be careful in choosing where you will spend your time, because you won’t be able to quit. You will have to follow through with it until the end, and do it well.” So I really considered whether I would be able to commit to something for a long time. And when I knew, when I chose the one thing I wanted to do, it made me want to figure out how to keep getting better at it—it made me want to commit.

8. Understand the transformation process.

Your body and brain will do everything it can to resist change and growth. You need to know that it’s natural to feel lazy and undisciplined—but you also need to know that you have all the power to fight it. Start with your thoughts.

9. Go above feelings.

The hardest part about discipline is maintaining the actions needed to achieve your dream or state of happiness. It requires constant hard work and fighting against comfort and instant pleasures. To do so, you have to separate yourself from the feelings that stop you, like fatigue, laziness or self-pity. You have to go above them, even if your feelings tell you that you are tired, stressed and alone in this struggle. Discipline is the direct training of a fighter.

10. Resist the brain.

All people are lazy, even the most successful businesspeople, the most accomplished athletes and the most talented actors. But it’s not simply laziness—it’s your brain saving energy for you. Any movement takes energy, and the brain is doing everything to stop you from moving by sending body signals about how hard it is to move and thoughts about how scary it would be if you fail. But you can trick your brain: Imagine your body is a beautiful machine and you are operating it as a higher force from above. Separate yourself from your body. Play it as a computer game. You are the one who commands your body to accomplish tasks.

11. Find pleasure in the hard work.

Shift your focus to the process and concentrate on getting the work done faster and better every time. Speed is important; you have to move quickly in order to achieve perfection in a set amount of time.

So many people quit too early. Success is all about persistence, and discipline is what gets you to your final destination—the realization of your dream. The more you learn about your craft and your capabilities, when you start seeing yourself improve, the results will make you hungry for more. Self-improvement is an amazing drug.

I love discipline because it is a source of power. It is an engine that helps us understand and explore our capabilities and life’s opportunities. Discipline is not boring; it’s the freedom to put all our energy into creating something meaningful and beautiful.

It’s up to us to choose the life with discipline or without, with a goal or without, with a dream or without.

Source:success.com