When you get angry or you blame somebody, you feel a heavy load on your head. You feel uncomfortable inside, and you spread unpleasant feelings all around you too. Blaming does not give you anything positive in return. Instead, owning responsibility for all your experiences in life makes you powerful and will put an end to grumbling, planning counter attacks, explanations, and all those host of negative tendencies. Owning full responsibility, you become free.
Here are 5 tips to walk yourself out of the tendency to blame and move towards higher levels of awareness and a more positive way of life.
#1 Blaming is not going to give you anything positive in return
What is the use of blame? See, you blame someone and if that person is really a culprit, for the first time it will provoke him or her, but if you keep blaming, he becomes numb to it; he doesn’t care. Suppose someone is a real thief, and you keep telling him, ‘You are a thief’, you are wasting your time blaming him, because every time you say it, it doesn’t matter to him. It doesn’t touch him at all.
So, a true culprit doesn’t get affected by your blaming him or her. Instead of blaming them, take this opportunity as an exercise for you to maintain your equanimity and your inner balance.
If everything is okay, if everybody is praising you and you say that I am a very balanced person, it doesn’t mean much.
#2 Before blaming someone, analyze your purpose of blaming
You want to correct the person, is that why you are blaming them? Or are you blaming because you want to vent out your emotions? What is your attitude? Why do you want to do it?
If you are just venting out your emotions then that is reflect on your own immaturity and lack of control over your own mind, that all. So, analyze your purpose of blaming someone before putting the blame on them.
#3 Blame reflects lack of communication
If your intention is to correct a person, you cannot correct them by blaming them. You can only correct them with love, compassion and communication. Blame means no communication.
If someone is a real culprit and you want to correct them, you can only do it through communication. And if he or she is not a real culprit, then your whole exercise is futile.
#4 Switch from blame to constructive criticism
Blaming is out of anger, jealousy, hatred and does not work. It does not yield any result. Instead give constructive criticism with compassion. A criticism should go with compassion and care, then it works.
#5 Above all, be patient
If you have patience then you can turn any situation, event or place into heaven. If you lack patience you will make heaven into hell. It’s impatience that destroys situations and the environment. Learn to accept other people’s point of view, and above all, be patient, as no endeavor will be successful without patience.